My best friend Chase and I led a devotional group in college with some of our teammates. One semester we spent each week talking about dating and relationships because college guys care about relationships but commonly lack the vulnerability to hold real conversations. We walked through the book Single Dating Engaged Married by Ben Stuart. The book highlights numerous tips to help young adults throughout the dating journey, one of which is the need for clarity in a relationship.
While Ben was pursuing his now-wife, he was very clear after every date about his intentions and feelings. His wife was never in the dark about where he stood. In contrast, some of the men in our devotional group did not know how to be clear with their intentions or did not care enough to share their true feelings with the women they were taking on dates or spending time with on campus. In today’s dating culture, men and women are rarely straight-forward or honest about their feelings or intentions. Many teenagers and young adults fear labels and set up a hang-out with someone they find attractive without indicating whether it is a date or not. Eventually, young adults end up getting coffee or studying with each other for weeks but one person does not realize the desire of the other to pursue a relationship.
Your conversations should not be like a college student’s dating life. Be clear about how you feel and where you stand. If you want a get-together to be a date, then call it a date. You will save weeks of energy and effort if you are honest at the beginning.
In the workplace, if you are happy with your boss and job, then say that. If you feel overwhelmed physically and emotionally because of your work, then be honest. Honesty, even though it is hard, is the ultimate clarity in a conversation. Assess the situation and determine if you should be honest.
Communication is key for any relationship. Any job, relationship, or team is going to have bumps in the road. The more clear you are during the storm, the easier it will be to set the course straight.
I appreciate you.
-JP
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