Jon Gordon says, “Where there is a void in communication, negativity will fill it.” Going to someone directly eliminates the “he said, she said” game. You will get to share exactly what you want to say and hear exactly what someone has for you. Ambiguity causes drama and confusion, and the easiest way to limit that is by sitting down and having a one-on-one conversation with another human being.
Consider the following guidelines when deciding between approaching a conversation in a group or privately.
When to approach one-on-one:
- A personal matter between you and another person
- Specific feedback on a project or constructive criticism
When to approach in a group:
- A team feedback session
- Criticism and open communication are clearly invited in a group setting
Your default for a conversation should be to go to someone directly, in private. If someone else invites feedback in an open space, then share with others. Think about the content being shared and how you would want to have it received.
Just like how you shouldn’t break up with someone over a text message, it is best to have someone hear your issues from you, not from another coworker, teammate, or your mom.
I appreciate you.
 Gordon, J. (2018). The power of a positive team: Proven principles and practices that make great teams great (Jon Gordon). Wiley.